Saturday, February 19, 2011

FADING WISHES

I wanna hear you shout when I scream at you
Leave me alone when I'm angry
Hurt me when I've thrown sharp words at you
Stop caressing my limbs when I'm stressed
Let me drink so I don't remember what has happened
Make me smoke for I've been smoking a long time before I met you


Make me do the works you do
Expect not any meals from me for I'll never cook
Don't give me tips on how I should dress up
Stop buying me fairness creams for I'm contented with my dark skin
Never drop and pick me up every time
Listen to me and don't you dare underestimate my point of view

I shall love your family like my own
And I demand you do the same too
Look not into my history nor my family's for people can change
And if you do so, keep it to yourself and don't ever raise a topic on it
Have a heart that's wide as the ocean - to forgive and forget
For I've unwillingly done enough mistakes that i'm bound to take to my dying bed


I have loved you like I've loved anyone else
For I've given you enough and this isn't too much to ask from you
These are the lists of what I expect from you
But I'm well aware of the fact, this fact that
It will never be fulfilled
Since I've been dreaming a dream


Friday, April 30, 2010

DRIP DROP


When everyone started having their menstruation, I sat quietly,eagerly waiting for the day when I will see my first drop. I was already in my tenth standard and every of my friends busied themselves talking about the symptoms of monthly periods which consists of cramps and mood swings. My mom would push in a packet of sanitary pads silently into my tight luggage before I get back to the hostel. And whenever friends sees it, they would make fun of me. Yes, it was embarrassing at times because I already had some hair on my armpits and in the pubic region which was a rare case at that time. Doubts and questions occurred to my mind whenever I hear the hushed down voices of my families with worries in the tone on why I still haven't had my period yet. Some thought I need a boyfriend, some thought it was just fine and some thought I was a bit less than OK which made me feel so insecure.
Once, I had a summer vacation and went back home from hostel. Throughout the day, friends came visiting me and we had good time and finally it was evening. It was a hot day and I sweated a lot. Suddenly, I felt something sweaty down there and it took me less time to get inside the bathroom. I took down my pants and I saw a red color and started yelling, calling out my sister's name. She came rushing and after she was informed on what has happened, we jumped and laughed with joy over my first menstruation. Now I don't have to feel I'm abnormal anymore. :)

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

BYE BYE BYE

He would tell me "Jessie, fetch me the cigarette" "Jessie, where are the photos that I had saved?", "Jessie, how do you edit this photo?", "Jessie,do this...do that". I knew he has the right to order me around if it was office work. But he went further beyond that. He ate up my head and I would go home quite sad. He has his own hands to fetch the bottle, to reach out for a glass of water, but he loves ordering me around. One time, after giving me a work, he kept on calling me and when I went there,he would say "Wait a minute." Later on he told me to bring the file and by that time I got really mad at him and threw the file on his table and went back to my desk. I wasn't a peon or a clerk but another employee whom the boss had selected through an interview. And every time he talks about party girls, he uses the word 'Bitches,Sluts...' which makes me furious. I would tell him that they were not the right words to address them but he ignored it.
He knew I was getting the boss' attention through my hard work and I could see envy in his eyes every time. Working in a Man Power Consultancy, our mission was to recruit workers as many as possible and the boss would hand me the list of all the selected candidates and it was my duty to convince these people to accept the job. Plus, for every candidates that I persuade, I was supposed to get a bonus of 1000 Bucks. But the manager would snatch it from my hand most of the time after the boss leaves. Thinking about his unjust actions, I finally made up my mind and told them that I decided to leave the job. The boss asked me the reason and told me not to leave. But I thought it wasn't a good idea so I kept my mouth shut and silently left. Weeks later, the manager called me and asked me to join the work again, promising that they would increase my pay. In addition to that, he told me that I was one amongst a few who does any work sincerely. But I replied "Thanks, I can't carry on, maybe some other time" and said BYE.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A FEW THINGS TO PONDER ABOUT

"What's the first picture that comes to your mind when you talk about India"? was our professor's question. While my classmates gave answers like "I picture India as the land of Terrorists" "Our motherland" etc. my turn came and I answered "I see people with different traditional dresses" and he bluntly told me that I was lying. I tried to explain my answer but he turned adamant. Later on, he asked me "You mean the traditional dress of Tibet"? and I felt the hot blood rushing to my head.
This wasn't the first time that I experienced such an attitude from the teachers. Since I'm the only non-Kannadigan in our class, they would often carry on the lectures in Kannada and the teacher along with my classmates would laugh sometimes. And whenever I question them, they would tell me that they weren't talking about something serious or something which is related to the class lecture.
Another experience was that a teacher once asked me about the meanings of some Sanskrit terms which I couldn't answer. With a cold voice, he told me to learn it along with Kannada. For God's sake, why should I learn it when there are many mainstream people who doesn't even know that the North-eastern part exists in India.
In another class, our lecturer mentioned that she hated the Iranians and the Chinese and further went on to insult their English. I was shocked to hear such words from the teacher and I went home very disappointed with the teacher's prejudice.
Another teacher during his lecture said that the North eastern people have lost their identity after borrowing so much from the western culture which I don't agree with.

These are a few things which came to my mind after experiencing these incidents:

1) How do you deal with racism when the most influential people like the teachers are practicing it inside the classrooms? I am quite sure that these people are the ones who discuss Racism and who reacts back with anger when the Indians were facing racism in other countries like Australia, England etc..

2) Relating it to our Mizo community,is it always a good thing to use our own mother tongue when we have non- Mizo friends by our side?

3) Is it the best thing to talk about a particular group without having much knowledge about their values and beliefs?

4) Is it a good idea to impose a language on someone when he/she is not willing to learn?

Monday, April 19, 2010



A THEUNEULO


They were a group of girls who were once batch mates in University of Hyderabad. Each girl has a different personality with a different thought, likes, taste and so on. Well, let me introduce you to each of the girls.

ZOR-I : was obsessed with her butt and pimples. She's tall, sexy and shakes her body well than the rest of the girls. Good in looks and smart in personality, everyone looked up to her as an elder sister.

GKHIANGTE : She lives in her own world and even laughs alone inside the room. Good in using her brains,she always excel in her studies. She is fond of discussions and always take part in it whenever she gets the chance.

DIDINTEI: beautiful in looks and in manner, she is well known inside the campus. She makes new friends easily due to her warm nature and of course, her looks. Also hardworking and sincere in everything she does.

MIMI: named as Sakeii by her roommate who is also a BEAR. She is cute and gets emotional at times and puts a smile on everyone's face when she cries. She is also well known amongst the Mizos for the many accidents that she had met. She is one who has the capacity of maintaining a STRICT timetable.

CHING: She has the heaviest weight amongst the girls(in her dreams). Sweet, fun loving, she always find the time to adjust herself into any occasion. She is a good footballer who always carry a small container with something inside to feed her jaw :)

BABIE: known as the great BIG BEAR who has the worst mood swings ever. She has a good voice and sings really well. She is also intelligent and writes very well. She has the heaviest laughter which makes others laugh too. Her favorite words are "CHHI CHHI" and "STRIK".

HRUAIZ: The one with a serious look on her face who is sincere and very hard working. She thinks and talks like an Old man with great wisdom. She maintain things really well, from her laptop,books,shelves to studies . Even our great Gkhiangte wrote on her testimonial in ORKUT "...This girl is the most organized freak that I had ever met....".

JESSIE: To be continued...


TOO LATE

The family was stable
Economically, mentally and emotionally,
Yet they failed to THANK him
They mistakenly forgot to appreciate the works he had done for them
For they thought that was the way things were meant to be
Everyone loved each other like all other families

One fateful day he left them for his heavenly abode
The mother wailed over his body
The children wept over their great loss
They realized their follies and called out his name
But he was far far away to hear their cries
With a big remorse, they think back about the days when he was alive